I'm SMRT!

The History Channel is always a good place to spend some TV time. Right? Where else can you compare Saddam to Hitler? Big Foot To King Kong? The Modern Marvel of Train Wrecks vs. Smart Bombs? Indeed, the History Channel is a sort of safe haven, the moral highground (if you will) for television watchers of the world. "It's History! I'm Learning!" It's better than, say, yet another episode of CSI!

Granted, CSI is garbage. What does it say when we will sit and watch the SAME program three times weekly? CSI: Vegas, CSI: NY, CSI: Miami, and coming soon, CSI: Dildo, Newfoundland.

In Reality, there is no crack-squad CSI capable of proving your guilt based on a trace element found in the rubber sole of your Nikes. Too expensive. That and MTV 'Room Raiders' have all the semen-revealing flashlights on backorder. Still, why not let the uneducated & criminal youth of America THINK that CSI units exist everywhere? "Don't do it Joe, CSI will catch your ass."

Propaganda's funny like that.

But the History Channel, you tell yourself, is somewhere safe. After all, "It's History! I'm Learning!" Oh yes, you're learning. Oh yes, you're learning to keep your ass firmly planted in the warm pocket of the couch!