*sigh* Danger - Venting Post!

Normally, I try to stay away from these "types" of blogs....But yesterday was rough and I need some sort of venting outlet...So here it is. Might as well keep everyone up to speed!

As you all know, Scott and I "lost" our jobs a couple of months ago. After bitching and complaining they decided to keep me on till I needed to leave for the baby. Anyways, Scott on the other hand wasn't so lucky. Financially we've been struggling since...And that's somewhat of an understatement. Scott has taken a significant pay cut at his new job, and besides that, we never see each other anymore. We're not exactly sure how we're going to be able to provide for our family in the coming months, which has obviously been very stressful for us.

This is why I have decided to continue working my ass off, even though it has become a struggle for me to get through my day's. But this week has been the worst thus far, yesterday primarily. I've been having bad pains in my stomach for a number of weeks now (mostly one side or the other), I can only assume that they're from being on my feet for ten hours everyday. But yesterday was the biggest struggle for me yet at work. From early morning my diaphragm was in constant spasm and I felt my heart was going to explode out of my chest...I've never experienced chest pain like this before. So a few times, I stepped outside let some tears roll down and stepped back into "hell". Also, for the last two weeks or so I've been seeing "black lighting", almost like little tiny fruit fly thingys in my eyes. Normally I see it only once or twice a day, yesterday was constant. When I came home from work and lay down and closed my eyes, I felt like I was on a roller coaster. I felt like my body was spinning and it just wouldn't stop. Anyways, I have a Dr's appointment tomorrow morning...If I can make it that long!!!!

Stopping work right now is not an option, this is something that has become clear to us. We just can't afford it. We're not "spenders", but clearly, we're also not earners! We're just looking to pay our bills and be able to provide for our family -even this seems very difficult at the moment.

Another thing that we're struggling with is the parents moving very soon. We feel like we need that support, but it's going to be so far away. We've been spending as much time as we can (mostly just me because of Scott's work schedule), but we're going to miss those times. And we'll miss the two or three calls a week just to see how things are going, and we'll definitely miss all the advice. Argh....Hate this.

Scott and the whole job thing could not have come at a worse time...and the parents leaving as well....

Sometimes I wonder if we'll ever make it through this....