Obstacles of Success

Have you ever felt like you were meant to lead rather than follow? That though you lurk among the crowd you recognize a tangible difference between yourself and the masses? What keeps us from rising up and taking our place at the helm?

Personally speaking it is my dominant need to please others first.... to be popular and liked. I place opinions of others higher on the chain of command than my own needs. I feel selfish if I deviate, uncompromising, a buzzkill. No matter the vast leaps and bounds I have made vis a vis my self-worth I am still and will likely always be that fat little girl who just falls short in most facets of her life.

Professionally speaking it is my lack of formalized education -- Although I took the plunge a few years ago and went to university I do not hold a university degree. Is this a fair tool with which to assess my intelligence and ability to advance within my career? No... a simple surveyance of some of my colleagues would be sufficient argument. Without this piece of the puzzle I have capped my potential to lead. There are two solutions: to return to university in hot pursuit of this missing link -- something I have neither time nor money for OR to become an entrepreneur and create my own path of success. The inherent flaw in both cases is the overwhelming need for drive, determination and ambition. If I am honest I fall just shy of all three.

I would like to teach, and I think if I pursue this idea long enough it may happen - But just not yet. But at last after months of feeling nothing but professional indifference and unmotivation I now have a purpose. Granted it's a project that will likely occupy large portions of my free time, I can now get up in the morning and feel adreneline once again that today might prove to be a little more challenging. It feels like a lifetime ago where my wings were clipped and I thought for sure I would never be able to soar again from this perch. Me and a very close friend of mine have written a book, and I'm not joking here. We spent hours upon hours on this review guide. We were encouraged to try and publish this book, but at the time we snuffed it off with a "meh". But now the idea has resurfaced again, it will take dedication but I think it gives us a little something to look forward to even if it never really takes off.