Some are repeats, some are new..all are still HISCARIOUS! Enjoy. The red are my words...
203 million dollars is spent on barbed wire each year in the U.S. I've never bought barbed wire in my life, but I hear it's very painful when you use it as toilet paper.
A human head remains conscious for about 15 to 20 seconds after it is been decapitated. *Shudder* I would have said, "SCREW YOU," in those few seconds that my head was sitting there. I'm pretty sure i would be pretty angry.
A magic potion or charm thought to arouse sexual love, especially toward a specific person, is known as a "philter." Give me some so that I can slip some in Scott's drink!
A Michigan law states that a wife's hair legally belongs to her husband. Her hair? that's it? what frikin' judge passed that one...Probably a woman judge with no hair!
A mother in Sydney, Australia, gave birth to twins 56 days apart and in different years; one was born in 17th December'1952 and the other on 10th February'1953. Twins only happen in weird alien abduction instances. One of them is always an alien, but it's never told until it's sixteen and three months and twelve days. The hard part is figuring out which is which.
A person will die from total lack of sleep sooner than from starvation. Death will occur about 10 days without sleep, while starvation takes a few weeks. double expressos all around!
A pregnant goldfish is called a twit. So is one of my clients, for trying to look down my golfshirt during a treatment this week.
A Red Giant(a kind of exploded star) has a lower density than any vacuum here on earth. Don't vacuum's have, like, no density? Maybe I wasn't listening right. Like I usually do in Science.
A women's heart beats faster than men. Damn straight, and don't ever let anyone tell you different.
According to Playboy, the most popular sexual aid is erotic literature. Yeah, because you don't feel as dirty buying it... not that I would know or anything...*Shift eyes*
Alfred hitchcock did not have a bellybutton. It was sewn up after surgery. Gross
All mammals, except man and monkey are color blind. There is no way that a normal person like me could prove or disprove this one.
Although explorers brought potatoes back from the New World in the early 1500s, Europeans were afraid to eat them for fear that the spuds would give them leprosy. It wasn't until Louis XVI, who was looking for a cheap food source for his starving subjects, served them at the royal table that people were convinced potatoes were safe to eat. Well, at least he knew the nutritional difference between cake and potatoes! Actually, Marie Antoinette never said "Let them eat cake." And leprosy is when your skin rots off. Yummy
American and Russian space flights have always included chocolate. Cuz the chicks crave it so much, right?
America's first nudist organization was founded in 1929, by 3 men. GO NATURALISTS! and WOOT WOOT to gay romance once again!
An American urologist bought Napoleon's penis for $40,000. Once again, as i've said before - Disgusting. And I still HAVE to ask why isn't it still in his grave with the rest of him?
An Athens legislator named Solon passed a law in the 6th century that let fathers sell their fornicating daughters into slavery. Sure, Solon probably just wanted to buy everyone's slutty daughters, as do I!
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