Wonkatastic!

The first time I watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, I had nightmares for months.
It wasn’t the sight of little tubby-kins Augustus Gloop being sucked up a tube, or Veruca Salt plunging to her death, or even watching Violet swell up to Anna Nicole Smith(pre Trim Spa) size.

No, no – it wasn’t any of that – those little kids were naughty and they deserved the torture they got. (At least that’s what my mean babysitter told me so I would stop throwing peanuts at her head.)
No, all of that was just fine – it was those damn Oompa Loompas!
Those creatures scared the Bejesus out of me. With their creepy little bodies and bright orange faces and those scary chant-like songs they would sing. I hated them. I still hate them. But the movie was okay...

Johnny Depp seriously scares me as the new Wonka. I would take him as Scissorhands over Wonka any day of the week. (And by take, I mean invite him over for sushi. And by invite him over for sushi, I mean...well, you know.) Jokes baby, you KNOW that the greasemonkey has nothin' on you!